11 hours...

That's it. That's all. 11 hours until I go back to work and my mat leave is over. I have thought all day about what I wanted to write in this post and it's just not there. I can't really clarify my own feelings so how can I write it all out here? I am excited to go back to work, to be teaching and to be out in society again. Yet, every time I look at my sweet baby's face, kiss her fat little cheeks, or hug her close I start to tear up at the thought of being away from her everyday.

How much will I miss? How fast it she going to learn new stuff and I won't be here to see it all? What if she misses me and is upset during the day? What if....

I'm not sure I can even keep writing. This much thinking about being away from my baby is just getting me more and more upset. I am hoping that tomorrow will be so busy I won't even have time to think about missing my baby. I have a big picture frame full of pictures of her so I will still be able to "see" her all day. I am also going to have a student-teacher in my room starting tomorrow (yes, the first day!) so that will also be occupying my time...not to mention the 24 students!

For right now I am going to head off and watch Bachelor Pad to numb my mind...